ARE YOU MOTHERING OR SMOTHERING YOUR CHILDREN?

We must learn to give our children space to blossom, says Saba Khan.
In one of the program our 5 yrs old students were prepared for the presentation. Every child was given a single topic and in only 3 to 5 lines they were told to explain and present in front of visitors. The exhibition was only for the duration of 2 hrs.
The whole point of the program was to provide a platform for students to meet, greet and to make a presentation in front of strangers to boost their confidence. Teachers were standing by to provide assistance and to supervise the activity.
A very interesting phenomenon was observed when students were meeting outside visitors they were bold and confident but when their parents were present their performance became shaky.
The reasons were...

  1. Few mothers were worried to provide food to their kids though children had lunch properly and it was just a 2 hrs show.
  2. School had decided to give a break of 10 mints after an hour but before that selected parents became the volunteers and started feeding children.
  3. Many of the children were distracted and lost their concentration due to the constant presence of their parents. Though teachers were there to take care of students and parents were requested to sit in another campus. They kept hovering around the children.

Over obsessive parents hinder in the healthy development of the child. Give your child freedom to explore and learn by own. Your continuous presence will never make them strong emotionally.

It is said that evolution of a person's love life from childhood into adulthood requires both attachments and separations. To evolve into mature adult who is able to give and receive love, you have to master both attaching to and separating from your people you love. If either one of these emotional activities gets messed up in any way your love life will suffer. Is the motherhood mean only to feed a child?

Parenthood is not just feeding and being possessive about your wards. Our children are born with inbuilt capabilities to learn and survive. They are born with natural ability to regulate their food intake.

"Children learn to eat out of Hunger and not out of Habit". Your obsession is neither good for your child nor for you. It is proved by study of American research that mothers found in. “Intensive mothering" may be more likely to suffer from depression and mental illness in future.

Remember our childhood and how our parents hardly ever came to school. They gave us independence to choose to participate independently in anything we liked. We used to select our interest activity without any parental pressure. And after the program we savoured all the appreciation we used to get irrespective of the performance being good or bad. Our parents never interfered in school as they had trust in school and had faith in teacher to play the role of parents.

Never forget this quote " When an egg is broken from outside force life inside Ends, but when an egg is broken from inside force life Begins". Don't be the outside force but to encourage a child to hatch out independently.